Today

Today is one of those days that I would love to skip. September 27th is the anniversary of my brother’s death. Oh, we fill our calendar with dates of birthdays, wedding anniversaries, holidays, appointments and all of the reasons that we must remember certain days. But, we never realize that we must start filling our calendar with dates that are those final days that someone is gone. And until it happens to you, it never even has a space on your hard drive. 

Reality is one of those things that becomes different only when you have been hit over the head. It gives you no choice but to make changes. Your eyes see things they have never seen before. Your heart feels things it has never experienced before. You are left with this new experience and nothing feels normal. And at that point you start to realize you must now call this your life again. 

Denial, tears, all of it eventually brings you to that place of acceptance. So now, I accept that my brother is not here. That my memories of him will always be with me. That his love will forever fill my heart and soul with the power of what he was in my life. He was my link to my childhood. He remembers stories and experiences that no one else will ever know. His hugs were the best hugs anyone has ever given me. His phone calls made me smile and laugh every time.

 

His smile could light up the night sky. He loved me so good. And now I am left to love his three children that are pieces of him. And love them I will. Every time I see them I see him.  

 

Make today a day that you cherish those you are with. Make today a day that matters to your heart. Make today a day that is simple and you give someone a really big hug that makes both of you feel like you are loved. Today will come and be gone. I will make it through…

One day at a time. One Anniversary at a time.

Graduation

The Preschool Director with every Healing Knots she owns!

Yesterday I taught a Healing Knots class to a really special group of ladies. I was finishing a chapter with the preschool where I have been a parent since 1993 and been teaching Creative Movement for 12 years. Well, I have no idea how to thank the people in that wonderful family of preschool so I offered them a Healing Knots class to make their own “Thank You” bracelet.

I also invited a few other people that have been witness to the Healing Knots story but never attended an actual class. This is a simple thing. You just show up and spend about 15 minutes in the beginning tapping in to what you might be carrying in your heart, I share the story of how Healing Knots walked into my broken heart and then everyone begins to design and make their own bracelet. The bracelet that might tell the story of their heart at this moment; the bracelet that might help them take the next step to healing, love or celebration!

This experience is always new. You never know what will happen and what emotional journey this will bring. Yesterday was no exception. One of the women felt her heart in such a way that her tears just fell.  Beautiful tears of love for her brother that she lost a year ago. Another woman could only pick red beads. It is the only color she can see right now. She needs the courage that red brings her as she walks with her mother down a path of healing. Every person had colors, numbers, stories that were rich with life, emotion and most of all, hope.

For me, it was closure to the most nurturing and healing environment I could have ever wished for my children to attend preschool. Then the gift became mine. The gift of working with children and teaching them new tricks in the gym, the whole time they were teaching me. Teaching me how to be filled with wonder, to ask questions, to share what your heart is filled with and to have fun!!! The teachers are like my sisters, mother, aunts and friends. It is a building that is filled with one BIG HUG.

Well, I have a graduated from preschool and it is time to go out in the world and take that message to a new place. Luckily, I am old enough to know the truth: we are all 4 years old on the inside. No matter how fancy the office or how serious your “to do“ list is, we are just simple people that need to be loved.

I thank the children that reminded me to just love and the teachers that taught me patience, understanding and acceptance.

Here is to bringing preschool out to the world. Our lessons are the same:

Be kind. Tell the truth. Everyone is your friend. Work hard and most of all don’t forget to play!!!

Loving Ourselves

Happy Tuesday!! This is where our heart is today...

Sharing What is on Your Heart!

Last week a friend of mine could not make it to work because her son was sick. Her precious boy suffers from terrible breathing issues. When he gets a cold it goes to his lungs and what seems like a few days of being miserable to most of us becomes sleepless nights of struggling to breath. She is the Mother, so she is up all night loving him through this every minute of the way. And let me tell you, the night gets very long when you are holding your boy and hoping his next breath will come. When I call my friend in the morning to ask how her night went, it is often met with tears of exhaustion and fear that the medicine is not working fast enough. And sometimes it is tears of celebration that she thinks it is breaking and he has finally turned the corner. Most of all, my friend is one of those amazing women that is able to face each day with great love and hope. Hope that her son will find a doctor that can help understand what will help him heal and hope that he will keep growing into the man that he is meant to be.

   

When I was trying to love her through this past week, it became my own gift that she asked me to stand in as “her” at the preschool. She is the 4 year old teacher at the magical preschool that I have been taking my children and teaching for over a decade.

So I was the luckiest girl to be able to be with a dozen precious 4 year olds last week. If you have not been with a 4 year old recently, I invite you to find one and sit down and really talk to them or even better, let them just share some of their thoughts or ideas. They share so honestly, so deeply and straight from their heart. One of the girls that I really enjoy talking to had a couple of things to say to me as she worked very diligently at the art table. 

The best part about this age of human is that they just speak openly. They just say what is on their mind. Out of nowhere she says to me, “You are a scaredy-cat.” Now she was not trying to be mean or hurt my feelings…just a thought. And as I sat there I wanted to answer back, "Oh, no…I am not a scaredy-cat. I have had to go through so many things and I always get through them somehow…." But, as her words settled in to my mind, I realized, you know what, I am a scaredy-cat sometimes. And that is okay. So I did not even answer. I just let her words float into the air. And then her next thought as she cut the piece of construction paper, “I climb mountains.” I just sat there playing with the crayons on the table…and this one I did respond to and said, “I climb mountains, too.”  She quickly answered, “I climb mountains to the TOP.” Well, not sure I have climbed to the top of the “mountains” that I am still challenged by. So I let her have that one. I hope one day I feel like I have made it to the top. But, today I know I am still climbing.

Her words have stayed with me and they have brought a smile to my face as I place them in to my own life and what they mean to me today.

You are a scaredy-cat…..(and that is okay, sometimes that is how we learn new things!) I climb mountains. (Some of us are still climbing and we know one day we will make it to the TOP!) The innocence of just speaking what we are thinking. Not needing anyone to respond. Just sharing what is on our mind and in our hearts. The comfort of a preschool classroom where you can do some art, sit in someone’s lap and read a book, do a puzzle on the floor. I had 3 days of connecting with the most precious souls. It made the world feel like a better place. It filled my heart with so much joy and peace. If you need some really good medicine for your soul…go visit a 4 year old and see what they have to share. It will fill your heart and make you smile.

And their words might even connect you to something deep in your own heart!

Fall Colors

New fall colors are here!! Order your fall bracelet today!

The Gift of One More Day

September 2, 1989 in Palo Alto, California was a day in my life that I might have been given the most amazing gift I could have ever imagined. I was 25 years old and put on a white dress and walked down the aisle to promise to love and honor Robert Alan Cargnoni for as long as we both shall live.

Today I sit here amazed, proud and in shock that it is 26 years later. I would still walk down that aisle in that same dress and promise to be his wife. I know this sounds corny…and marriage is one of those crazy concepts that hardly sounds like it is possible.

And trust me…we have been through so much…good, bad, happy, sad, bumpy, smooth, every word you can think of. But, today I woke up and realized that I am so lucky. Lucky that I love someone as much as I do Bob. Lucky that he loves me as much as he does. And trust me….I am not always easy to love or even tolerate. My father always told me, “Corinne, if I could have designed the perfect mate for you...it would be Bob.” What a funny thing to think back to his words on this day. So many of my friends applaud Bob for being able to stand next to me and keep walking down this path of life!!! We are most of the time the most opposite two people you could imagine…but, for some reason it has worked.  

Today I am nothing but swept away by the power of love. I have found 26 hearts for a 26 heart salute….To my precious husband. I am truly at a loss for words. Mostly, I feel such gratitude for 26 years and the gift of one more day with him!!

Love.  Today I celebrate my love. 

September 1st

Where has the year gone? It's already September which means it's time for a new season and new chapters!! Wear your bracelet to carry you through all that this new season of life brings!!