You never know when inspiration will land in your lap. Yesterday I felt like a shower of love and support was pouring down on me! This came after a Sunday where I felt those cracks in my heart crack wide open again.
My husband and I have a huge collection of CDs. Yes, for those of you that only think music can be loaded on an iPod, CDs are actually these round plastic things that have songs on them. One artist, songs that you love and some that you have never heard before. The collection of CDs really tells our story. From our courtship in California in the 1980s, to our early married years, through the years of raising children and poof….here we are with our 2015 drawers too full and time to clear out the clutter.
Bob, my husband, is very methodical and went about this project in his very Virgo-engineer fashion. He pulled the collection into piles all over the den and started to evaluate each album. He started pulling the individual songs that were memorable, loading them on iTunes, and then began making the “giveaway” pile.
The giveaway pile is where I got involved. I looked at the pile of CDs that I did not recognize had never played and really could not believe we owned them. Then I realized these might work for some of my classes at the preschool or for the stretching classes I teach at times. So, my Sunday morning was filled with listening to music and making bracelets. Of course, those go hand in hand. OH, and cups of good coffee. And this is where my heart got taken for a ride.
I began to realize some of these CDs were gifts from my brother. Different artists that he had found that spoke to him. He loved finding really obscure artists that played a mean guitar and had lyrics that told a story of love, faith and joy. As the songs played I could feel my brother singing these songs. Words that made you want to love more deeply. Guitar notes that felt like your heartbeat. And I realized he sent me things like this all of the time. I don’t think I played them and listened to them like I was now…I don’t think I called him and said, “Keith, I love you and this music reminds me of how amazing you are. Thank you for sharing something that means so much to you. Because you mean so much to me!” OH my, many thoughts of not calling him enough, loving him enough and just talking to him enough. I miss his voice. I miss his love. I miss knowing he is there to call and laugh about something silly in my childhood that only he will remember.
So….the giveaway pile of CDs became so very personal. These gifts that were giving me that deep soul connection with my brother that goes right into the depths of my heart. My heart felt how deep it was on Sunday as these songs played in my house and echoed in my heart. Those deep reminders that if someone is in your heart and you love them like no other….tell them. Call them. Your heart will thank you one day. And oh my goodness, that day is TODAY. Every time you love and connect deeply with someone, it fills your tank...I am convinced. And keeping your tank full will help you face those days when you need it.
So on Monday as I went to work, I thought, "today needs to be a good day." It had not occurred to me that I could still spend a day with my heart weighing me down with sadness like I had spent my Sunday. So Monday my gifts were given to me and I felt my heart be filled with some of that silly “emotional gas” that I soo needed.
A bracelet order from California needed a phone call to clarify some of her designs. Talking with this perfect stranger swept me away to tears. She shared how she was at her daughter’s soccer game and she ran into my friends Dale and Jacque and both of them were wearing bracelets. She asked, “what is the deal with the bracelets?” She said they both spoke with such animation as they shared the story of Healing Knots, and my story, she realized, was part of her story, too. She left the soccer game with Jacque’s bracelet on her wrist and her heart was touched. It just reminded me that everyone wants to love…and sometimes if you give a bracelet to someone, it can inspire you and help you love in ways you never imagined. One simple bracelet touching someone’s heart. Again, this story will make me pause.
A hand written letter was waiting for me when I got home. My sister-in-law had written me a thank you note. Her words on paper written with her hand straight from her heart. She keeps loving me and thanking me for being in her life!!! It is a gift that I feel so honored to receive.
An email from a friend in California, Dirt Sister, with a newspaper article. She was featured in her local newspaper and there was a picture of her. Not just her, but so many bracelets on her wrists it was like she was a Healing Knots Covergirl!!! Oh how that picture makes me smile!!! I feel like I have not seen her in years and by knowing that she wears my bracelets, it feels like we are still connected over these years and across the miles.
And I taught a Healing Knots bracelet class and it was one of those days when you could feel every heart in the room connect. Tears filled a couple of the women’s eyes as I shared my story of making bracelets. The room was filled with silence as people carefully picked their beads and made their own special design that told their story. Everyone made a bracelet and you could feel them truly putting their story on their wrists to wear it, live it and heal the pieces that were still vulnerable.
I drove home from work and felt like I had been given so many gifts of love, joy and celebration. My heart was full and I had a smile on my face. Those cracks that ached so much on Sunday had been filled with love that could help me see that hope does come. It comes on those days that we need it. It comes from strangers, it comes in letters, it comes in pictures in the paper. It tiptoes into your life when you need it the most.
May today be a day that you feel love pour into your heart. Take a moment….you will find one of those tiny gifts that you need to make it through another day. May your days be filled with gifts, the really special kind that lodge into the depths of your heart.
